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For the past two years, we’ve been a one income family, and it has been quite an interesting ride. There are definitely a lot of pros and cons to being a one income family, and it’s challenging and encouraging all at the same time.
We became a one income family the day my husband quit his job to go to medical school. He left a high paying job in the health care field to take a leap and pursue his dream of becoming a doctor.
Instead of making a salary like he had for four years, we had to take out what his salary was in loans for him to be able to go to school. Ever since then, we’ve been taking out loans every semester for tuition, while using my income for living expenses. Here are some things I’ve learned along the way:
1. There is a lot of pressure!
This could be just me, since I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I definitely feel a weight to provide for our little family. I now know how the “providers” in families feel, and I’m glad I got to experience this firsthand, since it will give me a lot more respect for my husband’s work in the future when he becomes the primary breadwinner. It’s not easy knowing that your family’s well-being rests on your ability to perform at work, but it’s been an awesome motivator for me to push myself to do things I’ve never even thought were possible.
2. You Have to Follow Your Own Path
I have received the advice to work less and “just take out more loans” numerous times from people I respect. However, I’m just not willing to not buy into the culture of taking out more loans than I need. I’ve already made that mistake once. I acknowledge that things will change in the future as I become a full time blogger, move to New York, and start a family. At that point, we might be stretched too thin and might need the financial assistance of the extra loans. However, for right now, I’m trying not to take out thousands of extra dollars since I have two hands, a strong worth ethic, and a growing side business.
3. Emergency Funds are Crucial
For one income families, emergency funds are extremely important. If something happens at work and the primary breadwinner gets laid off, there needs to be a cushion to fall back on. I use most of my side hustle income to build an emergency fund and make extra student loan payments. I know that nothing in life is guaranteed, and things could change in an instant. It’s always good to be prepared!
All in all, I’ve learned so much about budgeting and responsibility from being a one income family, but you can bet I’m looking forward to the day my husband matches into a residency program and starts bringing home some bacon again! :)
Are you a one income family? Who is the primary breadwinner in your house?
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I am not married so would never be depending on someone’s income if we aren’t married. Even then I’d like my own money, like if your husband wants to give you something for your birthday and it is bought with your own money (and not perfect because only you know what you really want!), it’s weird.
RFIndependence I totally get where you’re coming from and it’s definitely a “to each their own” situation. I think since we got married so young, we’re pretty comfortable sharing all the dough. ;)
I was the primary breadwinner for the first year we were married when Mr PoP was making minimum wage working at a business we thought we would buy. That didn’t work out, and now we’re pretty equal earnings wise, but if we ever had kiddos I’d probably take time out of the workforce, so the roles would be reversed from the start of our marriage. I think it’d be nice then to know that we’ve had the reversed roles before so we’d understand how the other felt stress wise.
Plantingourpennies I think that’s definitely true. I know my hubs appreciates all the extra work I do to keep this ball rolling, and it will help me to appreciate him all the more too!
Having two incomes works better for us, especially now that I’m self-employed. Since Greg has been out of work, I’ve been the breadwinner for a few months. Once he goes back to work, my income will just be supplemental again. Honestly, I prefer it that way.
Holly at ClubThrifty Yeah it’s definitely a lot less pressure!! I hope to one day have hubs’ income be the primary and all the blog income be for vacations or kids’ school or whatever else we’re saving for at the time.
I was the primary breadwinner at several points of our marriage and you’re spot on here Cat. It did feel like there was more pressure, but we tended to be fine as we had a solid e-fund and were committed to living a certain way.
FrugalRules Yeah it’s an interesting feeling but it’s also empowering too, knowing you’re doing something good for the fam. :)
I have been the primary breadwinner for my family now and as you say you definitely have a lot of pressure built up. Yes emergency funds are a must when you are with one income family. Maybe in future once my wifey completes her schooling we may go for two incomes
Samgill Totally agree about the emergency funds!! It’s definitely a lot more flexible when both are working!
We were a one income family for about 6 months when we moved here a little over a year ago. My husband is military (the reason for the move) so he was the breadwinner during that time. I could definitely tell that he felt the pressure of being the primary breadwinner. Even though the military is pretty stable income we could be in big trouble if he were to get hurt or discharged for some other reason. Thankfully, everything worked out and I found a job that I really like and we’re back to being a two income family! :)
myeverydaylifeblog Yeah I totally understand. I feel like my job is pretty stable too but you just never know as you said!
This is one thing that frightens me. I know that if/when we have another kid, my wife will most likely stay at home. I know I can hold up the family, but I really don’t want the extra stress.
DebtRoundUp It’s extra stress but it’s also what keeps you up and moving ya know? You’re such a hard worker Grayson and you have a lot of streams of income so I have every confidence you’ll be great.
Agree on the emergency funds point. The impact of an emergency (especially related to employment) to a one income family is significantly greater than for a two income family.
moneystepper So true. I’m trying to throw some money in mine as we speak haha!
I’ve always been the primary breadwinner and I probably always will be. W’s job is good now and is high paying, but he’s still not the breadwinner.
SenseofCents Yeah and I know you’re a worry wart like me. ;) You’re a pretty awesome breadwinner though!!
A great share and each of the three lessons learned along the way seem spot on. The great thing is that the tough road you are on now likely leads to a better future.
SavvyJames I definitely agree with you there! It’s been a crazy ride, but we’re working towards a good goal. :)
When my wife went back for her masters I was the primary breadwinner, but she was working part-time. Now with a baby, we are a one-income family and it is tough in an expensive area like NYC. It is definitely more pressure and you really have to tighten up the budget, but it is doable. It is always good to have a good sized emergency fund so you don’t stress out over financial issues. A job opportunity came up so my wife is going back to work, so we’re back to 2-incomes.
Andrew LivingRichCheaply That’s good to know that you made it in NYC on one income, pretty impressive actually! Congrats to your wife on the new gig. :)
Although my husband and I have about the same number of years in college and post grad education, my salary has always been much higher than his, so I’ve been the main breadwinner. He got a nice raise with his new job and I’m cutting back, which makes us a bit more equal now. After we racked up a huge amount of credit card debt, it was super stressful to figure out how to make all the payments and eventually get out of debt. I think it’s great that you are working harder to avoid more debt. You’ll be so happy you did when it’s all said and done.
Eyesonthedollar Thanks so much! You’re one of my inspirations for sure!
I think you’re doing the right thing by pushing yourself now and not taking extra/more loans. If you can handle things as they are now, then there is no reason to punish your “future self” with the burden of extra loans. The good thing about being a one income family in your situation is that there will be a future payoff (when your husband starts earning his doctor’s salary).
PFUtopia Yes! That’s what I’m looking forward to! :)
You guys are doing well in coordinating your income while allowing your husband to pursue his goal of becoming a doctor. While it is and will be difficult financially for a few years you know that ultimately you are both working towards an exciting future. I think I would find it more stressful if I were in a marriage where one worked all the time to pay for everything and the other had no interest in working, as I witnessed with a friend recently.
TacklingOurDebt Ah yes that wouldn’t be very much fun. It’s much better when you both have a good work ethic.
We became a one income family when my wife quit her job to stay home with our son, but thankfully it’s more of a one income earner – than a one income family. I was able to turn blogging and other online income into a second income that has allowed us to not have any major disruptions in our budget.
Of course we also planned ahead and setup a 6 month emergency fund before she quit, and made sure we had all our bases covered when it came to insurance, etc. If you see it coming down the road, plan ahead!
moneymatters BudgetBlondeIf you two haven’t connected yet, I definitely would recommend it! I’ve learned a lot from Peter and he always seems willing to answer questions. I love how Peter has been able to turn his side hustles into a second full-time income and definitely think he’s a great resource for anyone trying to do the same.
DC @ Young Adult Money moneymatters BudgetBlonde Awesome!! I have checked out your blog Peter but I definitely need to get all the updates. i love how you planned ahead as well!
We are a one income family. Life would be easier (from a fiscal standpoint) if my wife worked as well, but we feel like it is better for our daughter to have her home. I earn a good salary, but we still have to be very conscious of where our money goes. It isn’t always easy. I have learned all of the lessons that you mentioned above.
ayoungpro Yeah that’s one reason I’m trying to go fulltime blogging so I can stay home with those future kiddos!!
Gulp, swallow hard. Your situation makes me nervous as I know what it costs to go to medical school and the stress student loans can cause. Glad you guys have a solid plan in place!
KyleJames1 I wouldn’t be nervous if I were Cat, mainly because the reality of the situation is that doctors essentially have to take out massive debt to pursue that career track, but thankfully the income seems to justify the investment. Might be stressful for a while just because it’s nice to be out of debt and/or have two incomes coming in.
DC @ Young Adult Money KyleJames1 I think our situation makes a lot of people nervous, and I would be more nervous if my husband wasn’t doing well in school. But since he’s happy and doing great and almost halfway through with no problems, I’m confident we’re going to be okay in the end! :)
My and my cat are a one income family. :) I think at times I’m jealous of people who are married and have two people working because I somehow feel that would ease my mind at times, but it’s how the cookie crumbles and at least I’ll have developed some solid taking care of myself skills!
Beachbudget LOL you and your cat are the cutest one income family ever!
While we are not a single income family, Victoria is still working towards her career and will need to go to grad school unless she decides to change course. I definitely feel some pressure to bring in money, but like you said it can motivate you to do things you didn’t think you were capable of. I’ve made some money doing spreadsheet consulting (though haven’t pursued it much in recent times) and built this amazing blog *tongue in cheek*. Okay, I’m biased so the “amazing blog” comment will have to be taken with a grain of salt, but it’s going better than I could have possibly imagined.
DC @ Young Adult Money Your blog is amazing!! Just look at all these comments. ;)
My wife and I have both been in the one-bread-winner role at different times of our marriage. It’s important for couples to communicate their feelings about their role and what it means for the marriage. Can’t have the bread-winner feeling bitter that the other party “isn’t doing their fair share.”
Brian @ Luke1428 That’s so true! Communication is always key in marriage, am I right haha?
My boyfriend and I don’t live together yet so my money is my money. But I’m trying to build up my savings and investments so that I could take time off work for kiddos if that ever happens. I guess I’m hoping that even though I wouldn’t be working, my efforts today will bring in some money in the future so take the pressure off having only one breadwinner.
Nell Casey That’s a really smart way to thinka bout it!
Good for you for not taking the extra loans. It’s nice to have money in the moment but it’s not like it’s coming free. I wonder what people are thinking when they take more than they need and have to pay all that interest.
brokeandbeau Thanks. They don’t think – that’s the problem. I’m sure one of these days we’ll have to take them out but while we can do it, we’re trying to coast on my income.
We are a DINK family, and it’s wonderful. We won’t always be like this but I don’t think we’ll ever be a one income family unless something happens in the way of injury. We’re both breadwinners, though I do make a bit more than J.
Suburban Finance I think it’s great! Being DINKS is an awesome way to enjoy life etc!
Right now I would say I’m the breadwinner in my family, my mom doesn’t have a work and she only depends on her monthly pension. I paid the bills, do groceries and I also give my sister a weekly allowance. I agree with you there’s a lot pressure of being a breadwinner but anyway I’m happy to be one.
Clarisse Claude Wow that’s definitely a lot of pressure Clarisse. How awesome that you are able to take care of your family.
I applaud you for not taking out more loan so you can work less! Way to stay true to yourself. Your incredible work ethic is what has brought you so much success, and I think you just might enjoy working, like me!
Keep up the good work!
We were a one-income family when I was working as a tax accountant and my husband was starting a business. It was tough sometimes, but definitely doable. And now we are a “one-income family” again…sort of. We have switched places and my husband works a regular full-time job and I’m freelancing. Thankfully, I still bring in some cash :).
Haha, we manage to never make good money at the same time. I can’t wait to be real DINKS!
I think your point about emergency funds is really important. My dad was the primary breadwinner, and when he was laid off, my mom experienced a ton of pressure to provide for us. Her salary was about less than half of his, so it was difficult to adjust. My dad unfortunately never regained employment, and we experienced a lot of ups and downs as my mom tried to save little by little for emergencies. More than once that tiny fund was wiped out, but we made it through! This is why I always make sure I have enough set aside.