Managers. Almost all of us either have one currently or have had to deal with one in the past. Even those of us who have moved up the ranks and are managers ourselves have to report to someone. Managers vary drastically in style, approach, and all have at least one shortcoming. In many cases it’s difficult to change who your manager is in the short-term, yet so much of your personal/career development and future opportunities rides on their ability to effectively manage and develop you.
I’ve had a number of managers and all have been drastically different from one another. They varied in personality, style, age, and approach to management. Today I would like to talk about specific things that make reporting to your manager difficult.
My manager gives no feedback
When a manager gives no feedback, the employee has no way of knowing whether they are doing a good or bad job, or how they can do their job better. Some managers are absolutely terrible at giving feedback, for a variety of reasons. They may be too busy or simply expect you to know what you need to improve. In my opinion, even worse than the manager who gives no feedback is the one who tells an employee they are doing absolutely perfect. I have a friend whose manager told him that there is no way he could be doing his job better. How can someone in their 20s already have peaked as far as job performance is concerned? It’s beyond me.
In this case communication is key. Unfortunately as an employee you need to take initiative and make sure you find a time to sit down with your manager and ask how you are doing performance-wise. Asking what you can do better and what new responsibilities you can work at taking on are always good things to get your manager’s opinion on.
My manager sets unrealistic expectations
The movie Office Space has a classic example of a manager who sets unrealistic expectations. Who can forget Bill Lumbergh, the Vice President who tells employees they need to come in on Saturday…and Sunday.
There are some jobs where long hours are expected; investment bankers, attorneys, and doctors come to mind. In most middle-class jobs, though, 70-80 hour work weeks should not be the norm. Sometimes working late is required, but it also shouldn’t be the norm at most jobs. Again, I’m addressing this from a general perspective because it varies depending on the position.
If your manager has unrealistic expectations of when you should be in the office, how many hours you should put in, how much work you should take on, etc. there’s probably a reason you see it as unrealistic. Perhaps you are picking up the slack from lazy coworkers or your manager gives you more and more work because you always do a good job. While it’s good to gain responsibility, there is a point where it becomes unreasonable.
Similar to the issue of a manager not giving proper feedback, setting expectations is extremely important. Unfortunately most employees don’t have a conversation about expectations with their managers and both parties usually make some assumptions as to what is expected. Don’t fall into this trap. Set up a meeting with your manager and bring up your concerns. If you don’t have concerns about expectations, it’s still good practice to discuss quarterly or at least yearly what the expectations are for your job. If you want to move up the ladder, don’t be surprised if you they tell you that you need to work more or take on additional responsibility. Just make sure you get solid boundaries for how much additional responsibility is expected of you.
I can’t relate to my manager
I have definitely been in situations where I have almost nothing in common with my manager. One of my first managers was a single guy who liked hunting, fishing, and was in his late 30s. I was fresh out of college, engaged, and had no interest in hunting. It’s hard to believe but besides the fact we worked in accounting there was almost nothing in common.
In these situations you just have to make the best of it. Even if it takes some time to figure out what you have in common or what you can talk about besides work, it definitely is worth it. If your manager can make small talk with you and be comfortable around you (and vice versa), you can only benefit. If you really can’t think of anything, just ask them questions about their dog/house/family/etc. and go from there. For the most part people love to talk about their personal lives and what they do outside of work. Make an effort to engage your manager in a more casual sense and it will make your life a lot easier.
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It’s important to communicate with your manager about expectations, get feedback on your job performance, and find ways to relate to them. Not every manager is going to be an all-star who helps you reach all your goals and put you on the fast track to a higher position in the company, but it’s always easier when you can communicate with them effectively.
A final key point to rememeber: your manager is temporary. People switch jobs often. If you are in a really bad spot you can always start looking for a new position elsewhere. Realize, though, that every manager has their shortcomings that you will need to deal with and make the best of.
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I once had a terrible manager/boss. She tries to blame me for things that really weren’t my fault at all. I quit the internship after six months. A few weeks later two other accountants put their notice in too (there were only four full time accountants). Made me realize that sometimes when you don’t work well with a manager it may not always be your fault. Sometimes people are just crazy!!
BudgetforMore Yeah sometimes it’s just not going to work out no matter how hard you try. I bet the two other full-timers quitting really vindicated your decision to quit the internship.
My old boss used to sit in his office and look at fishing poles and car parts on ebay all day. Seriously. Sometimes for like 6 hours straight. He always told me that I did a great job but I’m not sure how he really knew what I did!
Holly at ClubThrifty Haha yeah I imagine it would be hard to tell how your employees are doing if you spent that much time on ebay. That would irritate me. Just go home if you aren’t working!
I’m fairly lucky that I get along really well with my manager, but I have had some terrible ones in the past.
MonsterPiggyBank I’ve never had a terrible manager, but each one has definitely had their quirks. It’s about figuring out how to make it work the way things are.
My last boss was an absolute putz. He’d spend hours surfing the internet (I could see his monitor from my desk) and let’s just say he was a fan of fantasy football/baseball. He also provided no feedback, it made the switch very easy for me.
FrugalRules At least his teams were probably winning??? Haha I totally understand what you’re saying. If your manager doesn’t work hard it’s hard to get motivated to work hard yourself.
I’ve had a couple of bad bosses in part-time jobs, but I’ve only had one boss out in the real world and I’m incredibly lucky that she’s fantastic. She’s incredibly smart, trusts me to do my work, provides honest feedback, treats me as an equal, and is extremely flexible about how and when work gets done. I really couldn’t ask for a better boss.
Matt @ Mom and Dad Money That’s awesome that you have such a great boss from the get-go. My current one is great but each one has come with their own quirks, which is to be expected.
I just can’t get over the craziness of my last boss. No one should ever deal with a mean/terrible boss and that’s what she was. She was the type of person that if you did something to piss her off, she couldn’t forgive you for months and she’d give the cold shoulder for months with her employees that angered her! But because she was a workaholic and did fundraise a ton of money, her superiors let her stay. Like you said, remember, jobs are temporary so don’t stick it out if it’s terrible! I barely lasted a year with that trainwreck of a boss and quickly found a better job closer, a higher salary, and much more sane boss.
Life is too short to deal with bad bosses. Its scary to think how many bad ones are out there. If you are having a hard time, always look at you options and work your way out IMO.
DebtandtheGirl I pretty much agree with you. If you just started a job sometimes you have to wait a year, but definitely get something lined up for your exit if you have a bad boss.
I am probably guilty of not providing the best feedback to my employees but we do try to do at least and annual review. I would add that if you do get feedback that you don’t want to hear, don’t take it personally or start rattling off excuses, just use it as a chance to improve.
When I first started out, the doctor I worked for was a million times worst than me. He made me or his wife deliver any bad news and if he had an issue with me, he waited until he was going out of town and would leave me a nasty note! He was gone, so I had no way of getting in touch until he got back, and everything was usually fixed by then. Weird way of dealing with stuff!
Eyesonthedollar Yeah that is a pretty passive-aggressive way of dealing with things! I agree, that if there is negative feedback employees shouldn’t take it personally. I get worried if my manager says I’m doing everything perfectly!
I have a new boss and we’re still figuring out how to communicate effectively and such. I find it pretty frustrating some days, but have to remind myself it’s part of the process.
Ugifter Yeah it’s always interesting at the beginning. It’s all about figuring out a way for it to work for both of you (and both your personalities!).
Hmm, great advice! One frustration to me is having too many chiefs and not enough indians. Or having too many different bosses to report to!
Monicaonmoney Yeah that definitely would be frustrating. I thankfully only have a few higher-ups to deal with in the chain of command and it’s clear which one trumps the other!
My bosses are great. And that is why it’s so hard for me to leave my job!
SenseofCents Yeah that would be really difficult. You just have to hope they don’t take it personally.
I like your point about having solid boundaries. With the majority of bosses the more you give the more they take. Of course you have to be willing to work hard but there has to be a cut off point somewhere or it just won’t be a sustainable effort. Nice tips.
MoneyBulldog Yeah the thing is, the programmers at our work have worked with the accountants to automate a ton of processes, yet they can’t get the budget to hire a new programmer and instead have to make do with the same resources but more work. It’s just the way companies work.
I have had some moments with my manager but these days we are in good working terms and respect each other better. However I have heard of many people including my wife complain of there work place and how their managers do not appreciate those who work hard but are quick to criticize and the people who do not do a lot for the company always get away with things.
BorrowedCents That’s definitely not a good situation to be in. Not good for employee morale at all.
Usually many big companies have performance evaluation on quarterly or bi-annually basis, where the feedback from the manager as well 360 degree feedback is collected and recorded. Unfortunately there are pit falls in small or mid size companies and if the manager is not providing right feedback his employees or team members are likely to suffer. Sometimes managers even don’t care to know what his employees are doing and completely unaware of his or her team members work. They are just busy with their own goals or luring higher management, which is a likely signal to change the manager or the job as there won’t be growth as he is not caring or ignorant for his people
Samgill Great words! Yes, many big companies have reviews, and my only complaint with those are that they are TOO structured. It almost becomes a game of having the right arguments for a higher score on this or that category.
I have had managers that I became good friends with which made going to work so much more fun, and I’ve had managers that I just didn’t click with for whatever reason there was at the time. But you are right, it is important to remember that if you feel really uncomfortable you can look elsewhere. At the same time I was always told people that were unhappy to never let a bad manager ruin their job experience for them. People do move on, as you mentioned, and if I really like the job, but not the manager I would wait it out and let them move on instead.
TacklingOurDebt Definitely some good advice here, Sicorra. I think there’s something to be said about waiting it out, but at the same time realizing if you REALLY dread going to work it’s best to just move on.
It is so hard to be a manager, I could never be one (zero patience and people skills). I found a way around mine by working from home, so we would see each other once a month at most, I gave results which is all they wanted so it was fine.
RFIndependence Honestly, I would be a much better WFH manager than someone who has to sit in a cubicle next to my reports. I am much more effective at managing things via email and whatnot than constant conversations.
I think it is important to realize the grass isn’t always greener elsewhere. I’ve had one amazing manager in my whole time working (also my first manager), but even she had her faults (though she was filled with good intentions).
My current managers don’t communicate enough among themselves, and then blame us for miscommunication that happens. It can be frustrating. I think their expectations are pretty off, too, considering that we have been super busy and they don’t seem to realize how much (even though we’ve told them). They could always be worse, though!
JourneytoSaving Yeah it’s definitely important to not to keep moving thinking you will eventually find the perfect manager. Pretty sure if you do find the perfect one they will end up switching jobs anyways (at least that would be my luck!).
One of the things I have always prided myself is setting clear expectations and open communication. I want my team to understand their roles, our practice goals and their individual goals. Otherwise, there is a lot of confusion and chaos. I do give annual reviews, but in my mind, if an employee seems surprised by good or constructive feedback than I haven’t been doing my job well. There should be no real surprises at their review because we should have been communicating year-long about what they are doing well and what can be improved.
I freakin love that movie. Anyone who has worked in an office can relate. At the time that came out I was working as a temp filing a lot of stuff in cabinets, and would constantly get electric shocks from them like in the movie. I digress. I think you do need to clearly communicate your concerns with your manager, otherwise you get pent up anger and then end of having a blow out. Even though I don’t have a manager, I do have a producer I work with a lot who is like a manger, and I have a very difficult time with him sometimes. I need to constantly have conversations with him about how “I can make our relationship work better” so that we don’t end up fighting.
I would have the biggest challenge if I could not relate to my manager. Relationships are a big deal to me and if I couldn’t connect somehow with my superior…well, it’s going to be incredible awkward going forward.
Ah this is a very timely post. I currently have, well let’s say an interesting manager. He’s the business owner and he vacillates between being overly demanding, to being completely absent for days at a time. It’s hard to always stay motivated when the boss doesn’t seem to care all the time. But I’m hoping to make the switch to freelance work soon, so then I can find out what kind of boss I will be :)
I had a lot of difficulty with my manager when I first started my job. Luckily, he got promoted and I got a new manager. Now I love my job, it is amazing the difference a manager can make.