I don’t know if you have heard the term DINK before, but it stands for Dual Income No Kids. Currently my wife and I are happy DINKs. While we do want to have kids eventually, we are enjoying the advantages of our DINK status. Those advantages include:
1) Kids are expensive
Kids cost money! While there are plenty of ways to save money on children, it inevitably costs more to have them than not to have them. It’s obviously easier to save and invest when you do not have children versus when you do have children. Another personal finance blogger, J. Money, has been tracking the cost of his child and will continue to track it until he reaches the age of 18. It will be interesting to see how much money they end up spending.
2) Vacations are cheaper
One of my former managers has four kids. Whenever their family goes on vacation, they have to factor in the cost of bringing their children along. When they went to Disney World recently, she mentioned how quickly expenses multiplied because of the children. It’s definitely feasible to have affordable vacations when you have children, but when there are only two people to account for it is much easier to vacation for less.
3) Mobility
When I recently moved from an apartment to a house, I thought about how difficult it would be to move when you have children. When you are a DINK, you don’t have to think about how the move will impact your children (school, friends, etc.). Mobility is a major advantage of people in their 20s and 30s who are just starting their career.
4) Easier to focus on career/education/personal development
While I know a number of people who have gone through graduate school after having children, they have all mentioned how difficult it is to get through graduate school when you have children at home. It’s hard enough to work full-time and go to school at night if you are single/married/dating; having children does not make the situation any easier.
5) Easier to focus on marriage/partner
We all have a limited amount of time. Once you have a child, they become your priority. Time for your children may take away from time with your spouse. As a DINK, it is easier to make time for your spouse or partner.
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I’m in no way saying that it’s better to not have children, just that there are certain benefits that couples with dual income and no kids have that couples with children do not have. Conversely, couples without children do not know the joy that having children can bring to your life. I don’t have children at this time, but I’ve heard that nothing can compare to it.
Are you a former DINK? How does your life compare now to when you were a DINK? If you are currently a DINK, do you plan on having kids someday?
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My wife and I are DINKs and since I’m in marketing its a term I often hear. We also plan on having kids and since my wife is older than me, its not far off once her employment benefits kick in. I’m currently putting a lot of focus on my work, so I’m obviously feeling that pressure.
@Money_Angels I hope that your pressure goes away eventually, but I also think sometimes the decision to have kids really has to do with your wife’s age and where she’s at (especially after reading Glen’s comments above, though that is widely known as it is).
My wife and I were for about six years and I can attest to all of these points. I tend to say to each their own and we did have a lot more freedom when we were without kids and that was great, but there’s nothing like having kids. I actually wish we would not of waited as long as we did, especially now that I can tangibly see the joy they bring into our home.
@FrugalRules That’s great! We’ll see if I feel the same way (about wishing I had kids sooner) when I get around to having kids.
Deep within the unspoken codes of parentdom lies one inescapable truth – we all dream of becoming DINKs again. Will be another 14 years for me. (Just having fun with that of course.)
@Luke_1428 Haha
I’m currently a DINK but we do know that we wants kids eventually. Just not sure when!
@SenseofCents We’re in the same boat! Not sure when, and we definitely are in no rush.
So now you tell me, gee whiz, what have I gotten myself into? :p
In all seriousness, nice post DC. I enjoyed being a DINK for the last 6 years, but I am happy with the direction we have taken now.
One more thing while I think of it – After talking to many of the doctors throughout my wifes pregnancy, many of the issues that women have with children (Re: Downs Syndrome and a few others) are significantly reduced if the woman is younger when she gets pregnant. So you don’t want to enjoy being a DINK for too long…
I can’t remember exactly, but the odds were something ridiculous for downs syndrome. When you are less than 17 it was like in the 10’s of thousands to 1 and then by the time you are 40 it was like 40-1. And that was only one of the problems.
@MonsterPiggyBank I hear you! And that’s a big reason people do have kids pretty quick after getting married. That and baby fever :P If we do have kids we will probably end up having 4 (there’s a whole reasoning behind this…maybe I will reveal it some day haha). I do want to adopt a couple of kids, so it’s more important that we have the first two earlier. Then again, all this planning could go out the window if we get a surprise haha.
@DC @ Young Adult Money Woweee 4 kids could be quite a handful, good luck to you mate. I’ll wait and see how my first one goes before planning another.
I’m a DINK who’s been married for just over a year. Being a military family, children are EVERYWHERE and sometimes it’s hard not to get baby fever. As much as I want babies, I’m kind of enjoying our DINK lifestyle for now. Spur of the moment 11pm movie? No problem. Impromptu trip to the bookstore? No big. Also, the fact that I haven’t been able to find a job since moving here would be a MUCH bigger problem if we had more mouths to feed.
I just realized my comment doesn’t make much sense given the whole “dual income” classification of DINK. I should clarify that for most of our time together we’ve been a dual income household, it’s only since we moved that I haven’t had a job. :)
@christineslittleblog Oh don’t worry about it, I totally understood where you were coming from!
We used to be dinks!!! We did save a ton of cash and had a lot of fun. I remember the days when we could just leave for the weekend if we wanted to!
It was fun but I’m glad to have kids now =)
@Holly at ClubThrifty I think that’s the attitude most former DINKs have : )
Recently just moved out of DINK status. My wife and I are just trying to adjust to living with someone else’s schedule. It has been great though, but the flexibility is just not there. It is such a pain just to go to the store.
@DebtRoundUp We happily babysit one of our friend’s kids every few months, free or charge. Because of what you just described, we know they appreciate it.
I can vouch that couples without children can know the joy that children bring to life.
@RobertaRenstromNyquist Yes, Victoria speaks very highly of you and Jeff! You have had quite the impact on her life.
It’s been SO long since I’ve been a DINK that I can’t remember the difference personally! But (and the reason I’m commenting) is because I worked with a ton of DINKs. If someone is a DINK but is considering children in the future, the biggest mistake is to NOT SAVE NOW. You’re right on the money with your points, DC: kids are uber-expensive and your ability to save will go down the drain quickly.
@AverageJoeMoney Saving is already tough with big student loan payments each month, not to mention all the other regular costs. For me personally, I would rather get that under control before having kids.
Aside from having 2 cats my husband and I are of DINK status and love it, for all of the reasons you listed above.
@TacklingOurDebt I forgot to mention our 20 year-old cat. She’s about as needy as a newborn : P
My wife and I were DINKs for 8 years after we got married, and during that time we enjoyed a lot of the benefits that you mention including cheaper (and more frequent) vacations, more time to focus on our own personal development/education/free time, and the ability to save our money a bit faster.
Now that we’ve been SIOK (single income one kid) for a couple of years I think the biggest effect we’ve felt as opposed to being DINKs is the loss of complete freedom to be able to do what you want, when you want to. Being able to go on vacation at the drop of a hat, or being able to go out to a dinner date. With a little one in the house it tends to cut down on your ability to be spontaneous, and most of your free time ends up going to spending time with your child.
When all is said and done, however, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Being a parent is the most fun, challenging, rewarding and exciting thing I’ve ever done. The joy it has brought into our life is immeasurable.
@moneymatters When you were a DINK you could go on vacation at the drop of a hat?!?!? What am I doing wrong?? Just kidding, I totally understand what you mean ;) I’ve seen many of your tweets and facebook posts about Carter (please tell me I got his name right…) and it definitely seems like you guys are enjoying your time raising him.
@DC @ Young Adult Money You got it right. :) With no kids it’s easy just to book a vacation and go if you have the money. With kids you have to figure out if you can find someone to watch the kid while you’re gone (if they’re too young to go) or if they’re coming with you have to make sure accommodations will work for you and your child – finding cribs at the hotel, hotel rooms with two rooms so the little one can nap -and so on. It just complicates things quite a bit.
@moneymatters I definitely am not disagreeing with you, nor is that something I am looking forward to when I lose my DINK status.
Current DINKs, plan to stay that way for awhile, if not indefinitely. It is rather fantastic having the cash-money :-)
My co-worker this morning on the drive in, “my kids cost me a grand in new ski gear last night.” I read this post on my phone about 5 minutes later, haha.
@Ugifter A grand? Holy cow….
When Johnny and I got married, I didn’t know how long it would be before we had kids. Now, I can’t imagine having had one any earlier than now! One reason is finances, obviously. But the main reason is how great it was having over 5 years of marriage together. We know each other so well now, and we’ve made lots of memories. I’ve really felt ready for this new stage of having a baby, and I don’t think I would have if we’d had a baby any earlier!
@Joanna@OurFreakingBudget That’s awesome! I definitely am enjoying time with just my wife for the time being, especially since we are just now in our 2nd year of marriage.
Ahh those were the days… From DINK to DIWK (is that a thing?) is a definite transition – but one that’s significantly easier if you accept the commitment. It also doesn’t hurt to find a good babysitter ;)
@Jennifer Willard Haha I have not heard of DIWK, but I like it! My wife nanny’s a couple days a week and I can definitely say that we will be looking for a good nanny/daycare since we would like to be DIWKs (that sounds wrong now that I’ve typed it twice lol) one day.
We have no kids and are in our mid thirties but would like to. There have been plenty of perks like.. ermmm sleep for one. Sure it’s been easy to save money but we would like to have a child to leave everything we have worked so hard for and continue to. If you really want a child there is no right time but if you have your finances in a place where you are happy and want a child I say go for it. It really depends on the couple at the end of the day. If we end up with no kids then that’s ok too. We just leave it in the hands of the baby gods now haha!
@CanadianBudgetB How could I forget sleep! Probably because I already only get 6 hours/night…but that is not because of a crying baby.
We are currently DINKS. We’d like to have kids, but there are benefits. Not having to pay for child care is another big expense we don’t have.
@JustinatTheFrugalPath My wife actually nanny’s a couple days a week and I will just say I am glad we are on the receiving end of that paycheck!
I’m currently single with no kids. But it could be worse. At least I’m not a NINJA. I can’t wait to become part of a DINK household one day :0) The biggest advantage I see to my current situation is that wealth can be accumulated much faster.
@Liquid_Independ An NINJA! Sounds cool but definitely is not cool at all! I just can’t even imagine paying my student loan debt AND paying for a child at the same time…plus I’d have to adjust my lifestyle, which currently includes timesuck side work like working on a blog.
@Liquid_Independ NINJA? No Income No Job A..?
@RFIndependence @Liquid_Independ Shoot….ummm….dang it.
@RFIndependence @youngandultmoney
I think the “A” stands for assets. As in no job or assets, but it obviously doesn’t work as well as the other acronyms lol.
Great list, David. I’d add to that peace and quiet, and great private time with your partner. dinklife
I enjoy my 8 hours sleep and many other aspects of a selfish childless life right now, but I hope to have kids some day. Many friends have rushed into having kids as soon as they got married which I think is great because they are young parents, and will enjoy their kids for longer. But I am happy with what I have lived so far and having a life with your partner before kids help define goals together, many couples left alone once the kids left are having a hard time.
@I have been married now for 16 years with happiness and love till Oct. 2012 last year everything turned upside down just because of my husband suspect me of cheating, he went out he was going out with another woman. But actually, i was never cheating. there is a man i use to know before i got married, because he is always coming around, my husband says we have something in common. This brought my marriage to a breakdown, I was devastated with no help from anywhere, my husband goes out and comes late at night and when i ask he yell at me like a common woman. I was emotionally, and verbally abusive.everyday i pray for a better day but things goes worse that my husband was filing for a divorce. A faithful day i cried to a friend’s house because the pains were too much to bear. she talked me out and referred me to a woman who do spell online who could help. the spell lady email is priestessifaa@yahoo.com, she said the lady helped her few weeks ago with when fiance was misbehaving. So i contacted this spell lady and put all my trust and hope into it. To my greatest surprise, her spell worked under 2days, Because my husband came to meet me in my office crying for forgiveness for not trusting me. It looks like a movie to see my husband back to normal so fast. He canceled the divorce. Priestess is a goddess with her spell casting. I trust her fully. My happiness today is because of her.
We’re totally OK with being DINKS for right now. I don’t really feel the need to have kids right away, and the bf, well he can have kids at any age, so he’s not in a rush. Besides that, I’m totally into me right now. Sounds selfish but I’m working on building my career and doing the things that I want to do. I think kids would get in the way too much right now.
I’m quite happy that we are DINKs. We don’t intend on having children either. At least I don’t, I won’t speak for Brian, haha. I can’t reconcile the personal cost of having children with the lifestyle that I want to live. I really fear that having a child means losing my own personal identity.
I have an inflammatory post (nah, I tried to make it not inflammatory, really!) coming up in a few weeks on the topic actually.
The only point I would disagree with is how hard moving is on kids. You don’t know whether it’ll be hard on on them or not, until you ask them, so instead of assuming it’ll be hard, it might actually be something they want.
We all left at different ages from different schools from a totally different country, and we looked forward to i and thrived from the move.
Same with other kids in my family that moved from one city to another. They eventually adjusted. I’m not saying every year you should move them, but it shouldn’t really be a major factor when it comes down to deciding if it’ll be a better situation for your family financially.
some people are the family type, some are the more individual you and me type. I just thank the universe that my life is interesting enough without kids.
I agree… on all counts. My husband and I are happy as DINKs. One additional point on vacations is that they’re more flexible without kids (specifically kids in school) because we can take our vacation time whenever, but families with school-aged kids have to work around breaks. We take cruises in the fall because they’re usually the cheapest because they don’t coincide with spring, summer or winter breaks.